Feed the Nerd 4: "Format C:"

Martin Jud

2.8.2018

Translation: machine translated

On the programme today: ice cream licking, unwrapping presents, 486 goes Format C: as well as minor problems and lots of games!

I'm too hot in the office. The thermometer reads 31 degrees. My workplace is in the part of the building where there is no air conditioning. Great, even the second rocket ice cream in a row won't help. I decide to continue working at home, where it's a lot cooler.

Plug and play

Even at 26 degrees, the sweat continues to drip from my forehead. Thanks to the USB port, this is quickly remedied. I plug my Arctic Breeze desk fan into my work notebook. A famished breeze blows towards me. Nice that I don't need to restart the thing, I think to myself. In the past, you couldn't plug anything into a computer without restarting it afterwards. Today, if you plug in a mouse, it just works. Everything used to be a lot more complicated.

Welcome new items (without plug and play)

How I long for the old days when PCs didn't need fans. I wanted to play a game on the PS4 Pro at the weekend, which I gave up after a short time. I always had the feeling that someone was working with a leaf blower next to me.

The last powerful PC processors of the time that didn't require active cooling were in the 90s. They were the ones with an 80486 architecture. That's why my recently purchased notebook only has cooling fins on the Intel i486DX4. If you feel like it, you can take a look at the last article on the "Zenith Data System Z-STAR ES".

I haven't had a hand in the software for this little treasure yet. But I have already successfully removed the defective CMOS battery. The new one is stuck somewhere between China and Switzerland. But with a little diversions and greetings from the BIOS, the notebook starts up just the same.

I still received mail: Lots of lovely gifts have arrived. Gifts that I give myself. It's getting me in the mood, even though I won't need most of them until the near future.

The mouse will be doing its first job today. If you operate the notebook with the integrated trackball, you will always fail the first level of Arkanoid. You don't even need to think about Wolfenstein 3D or Doom. If necessary, it's better to play such games using only the keyboard.

I also ordered an external housing for a CD drive. Including driver discs, of course. It can be connected via the LPT port.

To equip the external housing, a CD drive is also included.

I need an LPT cable in case there's ever a LAN party. It is debatable whether this should be called an LPT party.

I also got myself my favourite game from the 90s.

Goodbye Windows 3.11

Now we can finally get started with software. As a warm-up exercise in the cool home, I format the hard drive.

Windows 3.11 can safely call it a day. I won't miss it. No, I don't need a graphical add-on for DOS. However, sooner or later I will install Windows 95. And that's only in the hope that the box might be powerful enough for Diablo. That's why I bought all this stuff. I want to give the notebook an external CD drive. I also already have an idea of how I'm going to make the notebook "sing". You won't find a sound blaster on my 486 in vain.

But for now, I want to play old games from the DOS era. That's what I'm really into now.

Reinstallation of MS DOS 6.22

After formatting, I install the German version of MS DOS 6.22. This requires a reboot from the boot disc.

The installation from three additional discs is quick and easy.

After that, I first check the config.sys. Everything seems to be configured to my satisfaction. The country code 41 was also inserted correctly by the DOS installer.

In the autoexec.bat I then find two inconsistencies:

• The keyboard layout is wrong.
• The mouse driver is missing.

So I adapt the layout to Italian and add a line for the mouse driver.

One reboot later, I'm absolutely happy. At least until I connect the new, old mouse to the notebook. Because it doesn't want to work. However, the trackball works without any problems.

I rack my brain and think that there might be an option to switch off the trackball. And yes, you can actually do this in the BIOS. But unfortunately the mouse still doesn't work. Perhaps I need a different driver. The current driver from Microsoft has the version number 8.20 and is from 1992.

Another driver is quickly found. I still have one from Logitech on my NAS. Although it's even older than the one from Microsoft, I feel hopeful. I install it, add it to autoexec.bat and switch off the trackball in the BIOS.

Unfortunately, this attempt is also a disappointment. The notebook does not want to recognise a mouse on COM1. Not yet. Depressing that I don't know if it's the mouse, the driver, the laptop or my inability. I can't find any incorrect settings in the INI file of the mouse driver either. I force the serial connection using a command, but still no wank. The mouse is not recognised. After more than an hour of tinkering around, I give up for the time being. This stupid mouse can go fuck itself.

Lots of games

It's finally time for games. I can hardly decide which games to install or copy first. I start with the ones that fit on one to three discs. That's really easy, so I can think about how to get large files onto the notebook in the meantime, and there are plenty of them. Doom 2, for example, has a WAD file that is over 14 MB in size.

Some time goes by, I tuck into a meatloaf sandwich, drink iced tea, copy like the devil possessed and play the games briefly. For some of them, I have to start the setup.exe beforehand and select my VGA LCD and the internal PC speaker. In my frenzy, I don't realise how time flies. I'm back where I was in the 90s. The world around me is far away. And my employees merge with my private life. Time to clock out for a change.

In the meantime, it's getting dark and I'm not looking at my watch or my smartphone. There are already 19 games on the laptop. To be precise: Arkanoid, Battle Isle, Civilization, Commander Keen 1-6, Dyna Blaster, Eye of the Beholder 1 and 2, Grand Prix, Lemmings, More Lemmings, Prince of Persia, Stunts, Wizardry 7 and Xenon 2.

Really brilliant. But I've also decided to install Wolfenstein 3D and Doom 1 and 2 today. Although Wolfenstein fits on two discs in terms of overall size, there is one file underneath that is larger than the available space on the floppy. Doom also has a huge WAD file of 9 MB, as already mentioned above regarding Doom 2.

I find the solution for splitting up the files on the NAS in a folder next to the Dos games. I install Rar version 2.5. Rar is like Zip, only better. You can use it to pack files and distribute them to popular volumes. So a 14 MB file becomes several small ones, which I then distribute on floppy discs.

To run Rar on my work notebook, I use the DosBox tool. As this simulates an old computer, packing 14 MB takes around 25 minutes.

Copying and unpacking on the 486 is a little quicker, but I spend around 45 minutes on Doom 2 alone until everything is running to my satisfaction.

The night is no longer young, but I still treat myself to a little round...

Finally, Jud can go back to slaughtering monsters in Doom and shooting Nazis in Wolfenstein. What great times I spent in front of the PC in my childhood and youth.

Great, my parents didn't stop me. Or didn't realise...

Luckily, I didn't turn into a violent person ;)

Martin Jud

Senior Editor

martin.jud@digitecgalaxus.ch

I find my muse in everything. When I don’t, I draw inspiration from daydreaming. After all, if you dream, you don’t sleep through life.

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