16 completely stupid Pokémon names
28.2.2019
Translation: machine translated
Chimpep, Hopplo and Memmeon? The names of the starter Pokémon in the upcoming "Pokémon Shield and Sword" sound like they were made up by the developer's four-year-old son. However, they are by no means the silliest names in the list of over 800 Pokémon.
As someone who had to find a suitable name for their child a year ago, I know that there are a hell of a lot of stupid names out there. Naming over 800 little monsters - I'm not talking about babies anymore - is therefore certainly no easy task. But the number of abstruse names Nintendo comes up with for Pokémon with frightening regularity is mind-boggling. Or rather, Miltank skin.
Yes, that's a Pokémon name too.
I'm actually a fan of bad puns. However, the creativity in naming Pokémon seems to diminish with each new generation. At the risk of making myself very unpopular, I present to you my list of the dumbest Pokémon names ever.
Miltank
A cow, wearing an SM mask, sucking on her own udder - an attack that charges her power points is called milk drink, and it's pretty obvious where the milk comes from - doesn't deserve a better name. Who comes up with something like that?
Woingenau
Simply stringing two words together and then forgetting a letter DOES NOT MAKE A NAME. I already can't anymore.
Klingplim
I actually wanted to list Palimpalim. But then I realised that this term has been around for a while. It describes the sound of a certain doorbell, in case you're interested.
Definitely daft too, but not as daft as Klingplim. Is that supposed to be a reference to Marvel's Kingpin? I have no idea. They have nothing in common. If there were any alternative names to choose from, I don't even want to know them.
Liebiscus
The only thing stupider than the name is the look. Next
Crab corps
The English word for corpse is "corpse". Is Krebscorps supposed to be a crab corpse? But then why is it still alive? And why are English and German words mixed up? I think I've already given it more thought than the person who came up with this name. And I know that Corps could also stand for troop, but someone like Krebscorps is guaranteed to have no friends.
Regigigas
Gugu gaga what?! Did a baby accidentally babble into the microphone and the dictation software transcribed everything? Nintendo must have thought "oh come on, we need four hundred more names, and what we have, we have", or something.
Owei
In English it is called Exeggcute. I can respect a triple pun. But Owei? How everyone present didn't wait in silence for the punchline to this suggestion, accompanied by chirping locusts, and then slap their foreheads collectively when nothing came is beyond me.
Dummisel
This was probably not supposed to be the official name. The involuntary namesake was merely venting his frustration about the design. The intern picked up the name, passed it on to the programmers and it was already in the game.
Schlapor
Haha, you see, floppy and ear together gives floppy por. Hahaha... NO! Just no.
Nasgnet
A nose magnet? Really? Does anyone here even try to come up with semi-original names anymore? Anyone?
Cronjuwild
The only thing more unoriginal than the name is the design. A deer with a few flowers in its antlers is not a Pokémon, but simply a deer with flowers in its antlers.
Teddiursa
So just a teddy bear? Woooooow. Someone must have discovered Google and stumbled across the Latin word for bear while surfing. Everyone please clap very slowly. Bravo.
Dusselgurr
When I asked friends and acquaintances for input for this listicle, I mostly didn't know if they were taking the piss. Dusselgurr was one such case. The next form of development called Fasasnob is almost even more stupid. Every attempt to come up with halfway sensible names was thrown out of the window.
Zwirrklop
Did the namesake at Nintendo get stung in the tongue by a bee, or did I just hear that right? Is that supposed to be a combination of twister and cyclops? The picture makes me think of something more like a rock grabber.
Unratütox
A Pokémon that was born as a bag of rubbish, and is still called that. I don't even know what to say about it. And what's more, it looks like it crawled straight out of the bin. The name is almost apt again.
Rattikarl
Yeah, Karl, the old rat. If you don't put any special effort into the design, why should the name be any different? I wonder if anyone at Nintendo has known a Karl that they don't like at all.
How do you see it? Am I a heretic? Are there even crazier names or do you have better suggestions for what the Pokémon should be called? Let me know in the comments.
You can pre-order the games here,
by the way.
Philipp Rüegg
Senior Editor
Philipp.Rueegg@digitecgalaxus.chBeing the game and gadget geek that I am, working at digitec and Galaxus makes me feel like a kid in a candy shop – but it does take its toll on my wallet. I enjoy tinkering with my PC in Tim Taylor fashion and talking about games on my podcast http://www.onemorelevel.ch. To satisfy my need for speed, I get on my full suspension mountain bike and set out to find some nice trails. My thirst for culture is quenched by deep conversations over a couple of cold ones at the mostly frustrating games of FC Winterthur.
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